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Herein lie the rules for the Something Awful Forums. Please visit our support FAQ page if you are experiencing any technical problems, problems with an order, problems with your account, or if you are thinking of contacting us for any other reason at all. Most questions can be answered there if you just READ IT. And now, on to the rules! Make sure you are familiar with the rules below. Memorize them. Read them daily if you have to. They are guidelines you must follow in order to keep your account privileges. If you break a rule, you will likely be punished. Punishment can be a temporary or permanent loss of privileges. Most users have been around for many years and not had any problems. This is because they know the rules! A Message To the Newbies! We here on the Something Awful Forums are very elitist and strict assholes. We pride ourselves on running one of the most entertaining and troll-free forums on the internet. This is accomplished by charging a $10 fee to filter out folks not serious about adhering to the rules, and banning those who manage to slip through and break them. We are very serious about keeping our forums clean and troll-free, so please consider your account an investment and treat it accordingly. Read the rules, use common sense, and help keep the SA Forums the best message board on the internet! General Conduct Lurk before posting! We cannot stress this enough. Each forum pretty much makes it clear from its name and description what is acceptable in there or not. Be sure you have the appropriate forum before posting. If there is no forum dedicated to the topic you wish to discuss, use General Bullshit. Do NOT post porn or any "questionable" material in GBS; if you would be uncomfortable viewing it at work, do not post it there. Keep all disgusting pics in FYAD. Additionally, please check to see if your post is a redux (it has already been posted before by another forum member). Before you post: Before posting, please ask yourself the following question: "Am I making a post which is either funny, informative, or interesting on any level?" If you can answer "yes" to this, then please post. If you cannot, then refrain from posting. If you post anyway, the mods will probably gas your thread, automatically awarding you a 15-minute probation. Before you reply: Before replying, please ask yourself the following question: "Does my reply offer any significant advice or help contribute to the conversation in any fashion?" If you can answer "yes" to this, then please reply. If you cannot, then refrain from replying. Posting Rules Low Content Posts: Please do not make posts containing no content (ie, "first post," "hello, I'm new here," etc.). These just litter up the forums and with over 100,000 registered users, we need to eliminate these as much as possible. If you do not like a thread, then just vote it a "1" and move on; replies consisting solely of trolling fall into this category. As a general rule, write as if you were speaking in real life to another human being. Do not use any catchphrases, memes, internet slang, or any other crap that makes you look like a 12-year old. Worthless Posts: We do not care if you are drunk or high; please do not inform us of either. Please do not register gimmick accounts and make posts as a gimmick, as they are not funny. Please do not post crap asking us to vote for you on some website, give you referrals for free iPods / flatscreens / spare tires, or any other semi-spam things. Forum Fuckery: Don't fuck up the forums or any user on the forums. If you post a malicious link (any URL with spyware or code designed to annoy people) you will be banned. Do not vote spam a thread with your friends because you don't like the person who posted it; this makes the voting feature useless. 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No warez, no cracks, no CD codes, no illegal programs that are used to either crack software or perform any malicious activity. Don't post links, ask for links to download, or otherwise discuss illegal copies of copyrighted works, including movies, books, software, etc. 45-second "sampler" mp3 files are acceptable, within context. ROMs are only allowed if they are out-of-print and unavailable for purchase. Your sig file and you. Keep in mind that everybody on the forums has to see your sig file over and over every time you post. Please make your sig file under 30k in size with less than three lines of text. Do not use images larger than 400 pixels wide and 125 pixels high. What If I Get Banned? If you break a semi-minor rule, you will be put on Posting Probation, where you will not be allowed to post threads for a specified amount of time. If you break the rules again after being put on probation, you will more than likely be banned. If you are banned, then your name will appear in the Leper's Colony followed by the rule you broke. You may re-register your account unless you have been perma-banned, which is rarely done and only for serious cases (such as child pornography). If your email account matches that of your banned account, you can register your account again, but if they do not match then there is nothing we can do. This is to prevent fraud and user impersonation. I Don't Agree With a Mod or Admin Decision! If you would like to inquire about a particular mod or admin action, we welcome any questions in the Questions, Comments, and Suggestions forum. Please be civil, explain your point, and detail your opinion on it. You may question any mod or admin you like as long as you are not rude about it. This Place Sounds Like a Ripoff! If you do not agree with these rules, please do not register an account. If you are not sure about buying an account, please do not purchase one. The only people we want to register accounts are those who really want to be here and will respect the rules and other forum members. We reserve the right to ban anybody on the forums, especially furries, Scientologists, and Libertarians. This Stuff Annoys the Mods and Admins Here are some general tips and posting pointers that the mods and admins do not like in general. We are including this list because, having run the forums for seven years, trends and catchphrases light up the place and catch on like wildfire. Unlike those other forums out there, we despise these things and feel they hinder creativity and humor. * Beginning a thread with "so," such as "So my parents got me pregnant today." * 56k warnings. Less than 1% of our users still have 56k modems, so we do not need "[56k NO!]" warnings in thread titles. * Catchphrases in general. Just because somebody else wrote something humorous does not necessarily mean if you do the same thing then you will be humorous. * Backseat modding. We have more than enough mods and admins here. Please do not act like an armchair admin. * Internet lingo or slang of any sort. Please do not act as if you are posting through AIM.